I used to be that innocent girl who had the world at her feet. I was beautiful and I had eyes and hips that could make men sway, and to top it all up, I was a Christian, a very good Christian with a heart burning for God. When I entered the university, I met a guy, his name was Derrick. I couldn’t believe my luck the first time I bumped into him on my way to class, he had such a kind smile and a tender look that weakened my knees when he spoke.
Because I was late for class we couldn’t talk much but barely three weeks later, I met him at the fresher’s night party and I was overwhelmed. We got talking and I found out that he was in his second year and from that night, we became an inseparable pair. At first, we were friends and as months passed by, we got closer and closer and the chemistry between us was undeniable. About a year after I entered the university, Derrick and I started dating.
He was everything a girl could ever want and desire save the fact that he wasn’t so much of a Christian. Derrick had magical hands that made him hard to resist and most times I fell for it. At first, I felt bad but when I couldn’t help falling into the same pit I killed the guilt on my inside. And then one day, one of my friends said I was getting fatter and that got me thinking and in the process I began to link the dots…
first I had a vomiting spree every morning which I thought was due to a flu and then I had this morning sickness which I felt was due to stress and then my missing period…oh no it can’t be possible I said to myself, I couldn’t be pregnant!!! After a series of test outside school, I realized the deadliest truth, I was indeed pregnant. I was only nineteen, I still had a whole life ahead of me, what was I going to do.
I couldn’t tell my parents, they wouldn’t hear of it. I had to go to Derrick to tell him what I had found out. On telling him, I saw him fly into a temper I had never seen in my life. He was so hysterical, calling me all sorts of names and I didn’t even know when I started crying heart drenching tears of hurt and betrayal. When he looked into my eyes he must have realized how scared and hurt I was and so he pulled me close and ran his hands through my hair until I had calmed down and then he said tome in the most subtle voice ever ”why don’t you have an ab*rtion”.
I pulled back instantly, I couldn’t have an ab*rtion! But when he talked about my parents and the sanctioning of the school and the fellowship which I belonged to, I knew I had no other choice. Derrick had made all the arrangements and so on the supposed day we went to the room- like clinic.
I shivered all through my way there but Derrick kept telling me that it would be okay and that he was proud that I made such a brave decision. When I entered into the room where the ab*rtion was supposed to take place I laid down on the table trying to dissociate my mind from what I was about to do and then a young man told me sternly, ” you know I can’t perform this procedure with your underwear on” and then I began to pull it off.
As I did this a sense of guilt overwhelmed me, first I had pulled off my underwear of pleasure and now I was pulling it off to get rid of the stigma the pleasure had brought…what a shame, I felt so exposed. All through the times that I felt instruments coming in and out of me, I kept thinking of the lady I had become and the hypocrite I had transformed into.
I let out a sigh, only if I can get through this I muttered… only if…and then I felt a sharp pain pierce through the whole of my body, I screamed but then the doctor told me to be quiet. I felt another pain but this time I bit my lip and then the pain began to come in successions. I instinctively knew that something was wrong but I was too weak to talk or to move and then I heard the voices of Derrick and the doctor talking about the fact that I was bleeding excessively. The pain was so unbearable and I could feel myself getting weaker and weaker.
With the last strength in me, I pleaded with God ”Oh Lord I’m so sorry for taking my under wears off, please forgive me.” and I drifted into a world where the pain seemed less hurtful and the voices seemed more distant. Friends, our bodies are the temple of the Lord… Do not take off your underwear when the time is not right. Lots of girls who gained admission into the university as virgins eventually lost it so cheaply to guys who have nothing to do with their destinies. In a bid to get a certificate, they sold out a destiny that certificate cannot guarantee.
09:49
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